Just Some Thoughts

You’re lost. You feel drained. You want to do something, but it seems like there’s a block. For some reason, you can’t. You can’t write. You can’t speak. You can barely think. You have no control over moving forward. There’s no momentum because there’s no movement.

Chances are you’re focusing on the wrong thing. You have your goal in mind. Your eye is on the prize. You’re more concerned with the end result. You’re not enjoying the process. This occurs for me if I’m not careful. If I take myself too seriously, I set an expectation for myself and begin to lose the enjoyment in what I’m doing. I concern myself with building a monument rather than laying a brick. The result is stagnation. Instead of laying bricks, I find something else to do and the monument I wanted to create is no closer to being complete.

My remedy is simple. Start. Start somewhere. In fact, this very post was me just starring at a screen, waiting for inspiration. I have on my calendar scheduled to write a blog post each morning. I’m supposed to sit at my computer for 30 minutes each morning from 8:30-9am and write. My goal is to build a habit. Once I have the habit, I’m driving traffic to my website, leading by example, wherein turn, my team members are also doing the same, writing every day. And if I write every day, maybe I’ll be able to pump out 1 or 2 decent posts per week. But I haven’t been sitting down to write. I’ve been dreading it, finding anything else to do other than put words to paper. But when you start, you commit.

The next step is to enjoy the process. Just let it flow. Type or write about anything. It doesn’t matter. I find it easiest to write about why I can’t write when I can’t write. The purpose is the process, not the goal. So as long as you’re still writing, you’re making progress via the process. You’re connecting your mind to your hands.

Get comfortable, knowing that it’s not going to be magical writing, don’t expect spell-binding words to flow from your fingertips. That’s too much pressure. Expect words to flow. That’s it. They don’t even have to make sense. Just get the words out. Don’t worry about anything else. They can be completely off-topic, tangent-oriented, senseless words, barely if at all, strung together—just do it.

What happens is organic. Logic tells you that everything that’s coming out is a waste of your time. Why? I won’t pretend to know or understand and since I’m writing this because I didn’t feel like writing, I’m not going to look it up. But it’s my belief that we’re programmed to want to make sense. Your subconscious will take over and begin making coherent thoughts, pumping ideas into your mind that you’ll add to your writing. They could be the most minute dots, speckled throughout your writing with your short 30-minute window or however long you want to take.

What’s the use?

Well, there are two ways to look at this:

1. You benefit by writing. In the process, you have to learn to enjoy it. So regardless of anything else, as long as you’ve written something, you’re getting better and getting closer. It’s all about practice. The more you practice, the better you get.

2. Go back over your writing days or even weeks later. Save it. No one’s going to read it unless you want them to. It may be an incoherent mess of words. But if you look closely, you’ll be able to see the dots where your subconscious took over during the process and began to make sense. In fact, I wrote this post in 2015 and it sat in my Evernote for 6 years before I published it.

So, to sum this up, it’s all about the process. It’s all just practice. So just start writing. It’ll come together. And then, keep writing. 😉

The line between these two is so narrow it’s nearly indistinguishable.

One minute you think everything is perfect, you got this, and you’re in the proverbial zone. And then you lose.

This can be in a sales pitch or a golf game or anywhere you have a method or process that you follow.

And what’s worse, is you can only look back and realize you were overconfident. This isn’t something you see going into it because you feel confident.

But when you have the confidence, it’s real power. You glide where you would fall and tumble in the past. You don’t second guess, you win and it’s perpetual. Confidence is key. This is mastery, expertise; this where we all want to be and what we strive for.

But the unfortunate truth is we have to learn when we get overconfident. We need to look at when that happens, acknowledge it and determine why it’s occurring.

Are you rushing? Are you preparing like you normally do? Are you going through all the motions? What’s different?

As you learn where you get overconfident, it should arise less if you keep your practice in place and your skills honed.

I’ve made a career out of studying marketing and sales.

If I’m not careful, it can get to me. Because the more you know about marketing, the more it changes the way you view the world. You’ll start to see that almost nothing is genuine.

Nearly all news stories that are on TV are pushed by a pitch. There’s an angle. Not talking about natural disasters or crimes, rather political, science, tech and most certinaly business stories. There’s a publicist pushing the piece.

Awards are fought for, not just given.

Books are made a specific thickness, not because that how people should learn and get the best information. But because they sell better that way.

The best advertisers are seldomly the best products or services. Usually, the best products and services come from the smaller companies that don’t have the wherewithal to know how to market.

And you and I are the product on social media.

Every action you see a company take, you should look at it through the lens of their marketing benefit. They’re not doing it to be truly altruistic. It’s for earned media or something that drives sales. And this is okay. It’s capatilism. Just know, it’s part of a strategy, not kind spontaneity.

1. Because you don’t know what you’re doing
2. Because you know what you’re doing but you’re unconfident
3. Because you’re too nice and people walk on you
4. Because you’re too mean and people can’t stand to be around you
5. Because you over-committed yourself
6. Because you don’t know where to start
7. Because the people you’re working with can’t communicate
8. Because you can’t communicate
9. Because you didn’t sleep enough last night
10. Because you’re underpaid
11. Because your boss is an asshole
12. Because you’re an asshole
13. Because you don’t like what you’re doing
14. Because you didn’t chase your dream
15. Because you procrastinate too much
16. Because you waited till the last minute and now it’s an emergency for everyone else
17. Because you’re afraid to ask for help
18. Because you have too much coming at you at once
19. Because you can’t focus
20. Because you never finish anything
21. Because you’re always having to bail someone out
22. Because you’re too scared to say it like it is
23. Because you’re in-direct
24. Because you’re too direct
25. Because you have a long drive and have to sit in traffic and who the hell wants to sit in traffic?
26. Because you don’t fit in
27. Because they look to you as the leader
28. Because it’s data entry
29. Because everything’s a rush job
30. Because you don’t have enough time
31. Because someone else always takes the credit
32. Because praise makes you feel uncomfortable
33. Because you’re too judgemental and never give it a chance
34. Because you don’t get the good projects
35. Because you always get the complicated projects
36. Because people might judge you

There’s always a reason when it sucks. What’s yours?

Blooper reels. They’re only funny to those that are in the reels. And sometimes, just sometimes, they’re funny to those that personally know the people. 

Overall, they’re self-serving. 

It’s not like it’s a skateboard video where guys are wracking their nuts attempting to do a rail slide. That’s a real feat there. Someone doing something you can’t do and the worst happens. People find this entertaining. I get it. 

But blooper reels? They’re just people not getting their lines right making mistakes and laughing. They’re outtakes. 

On the other hand, if you throw in some improv with a true professional, that’s a different story. 

What I’m talking about are commercial video productions. Think how-to videos, TV commercials, brand storytelling, etc. 

Save the space on your hard drive. Just say no to the blooper reels. 

Turning a profit isn’t easy. You have to align expectations with value and then have enough for you and the government.

Then if you want a great place to work where people are happy, well taken care of with the best tools, insurance and all the like, it’s even harder.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s easy to make a profit if you’re breaking the law or treating your staff poorly or overcharging and under-delivering. But that’s not the same game.

I’m talking about healthy companies that want the best for their people and the best for the world. This is the only path worth taking.

The challenge is what makes it worth while.

I stopped cursing. Or cussing. Or swearing. Whatever you call it.

I was on vacation and decided to give it a try. Doesn’t mean I’ll never cuss again. But you have to understand my relationship with cussing and then I’ll tell you the benefits.

My parents are cursers. My dad is one of the best. He make Samuel L. Jackson look like a puppy dog. In fact, my parents cursed so much growing up, they decided they couldn’t stop us. The rule was we weren’t allowed to curse at them. It all started when I was six years old on the way to Chicago. My mother said, what do you guys want to do to pass the time? Play a game? Sure as (——-), we did. We asked if we could curse. And to our delight, she said yes. But only on the way up there.

Well, that did work out. My brother who was 5 at the time cursed out one of my well deserved uncles and by the time we got home we never stopped. There was nothing she could do.

I also remember having to go to pick up my older brother from school with my dad and younger brother. Apparently he said bull——. 

But I’ve cussed my whole life. It was part of my identity. Or so I thought.

Then I began seeing it proliferate through our culture. Everywhere I’d look, someone was cursing. But it seemed as if it were for effect. Gary V. for instance. Curses all the time. It’s part of his brand. God bless him.

But then I started seeing books like The Subtle Way to Not Hiving a F@&$. Great book, but the title is just another example.

Those things bothered me.

But what really bothered me is I found that I was using it as a crutch to fill in words when not necessary. But worse, I wasn’t communizing and connecting at my fullest.

I say something that was not meant to be hurtful. I’d use some colorful language and I’d have a hard time connecting with the person to get my point across. They’d hear the words I used rather than received the message.

So while on vacation I decided that I’m going to quit. And I did. I didn’t notice anything for the first week. There was a slip up here and there. But when I really came to notice the power of not cursing is when my wife got ripped off.

She thought she was booking a 4 star hotel on Booking.com. That wasn’t the case. It was false advertising and misinformation. When we got to the hotel it was clearly a 2 star at best and it had none of the sparkle or amenities promised. She was upset. It was our anniversary and she was trying to do something nice. So I got upset.

I’m a calm negotiator. It’s part of my job. I called booking dot com and they were understanding of the situation. Then my wife received an email from the manager of the hotel. The terms were in the description when we booked and she wasn’t going to refund our money.

So I called her. Cordial as ever, I explained that it was our anniversary, my wife was trying to do something nice, she booked the hotel, the information did not match what we’re buying, so we’d simply like our money back.

She said it wasn’t her fault my wife couldn’t read. To a curser, at that moment, when that’s said, you begin to speak and not realize you’re cursing because you’re angry.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I got angry. But I never cursed. I kept my cogent argument and didn’t let up. I kept hammering on the point that it was false advertising and she was stealing my money.

Then she claimed I was attacking her, which I wasn’t. But she couldn’t hang up because I wasn’t being mean and I wasn’t cursing.

Turns out she was just a bully trying to exercise what little power she had and she didn’t even have the authority to issue a refund. I had to speak with the owner. Mind you this is a little hotel. But she gave me her owner’s email address. I told him the whole story and within an hour I was refunded.

The point here is that I have changed the way I think and communicate.

I’m getting through to people that I normally wouldn’t and getting what I want. What more could you ask for?

I don’t know how long this will last, maybe forever. But so far, I love the results.